


What We Owe

by Anonymous



Category: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: (only in the first chapter- the rest is a normal fanfic), Angst, Childhood Sexual Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, PTSD, Past Sexual Abuse, Pedophilia, Poetry, Sexual exploration, Trauma Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29525880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sex should be something he wants, so why the hell can't he get over this?
Relationships: Nancy Holbrook/Quentin Smith, Steve Harrington/Quentin Smith
Kudos: 4
Collections: Anonymous





	What We Owe

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a four-chapter fic about Quentin's experience dealing with the abuse he faced at the hands of Freddy, both with Nancy after the events of the movie and in the Entity's realm. There will be no graphic CSA because I am in no way comfortable with writing anything like that, and the only graphic scene will be in the chapter "Articulate" with a description of masturbation. As well as this, there will be many callbacks to the molestation of the kids, so do not read this if that makes you uncomfortable. I myself am a CSA survivor and am writing this as a means of both developing a character in regards to his trauma and representing my own experiences.  
> I am posting this anonymously because I'd rather not have it be directly traced back to me. If anyone happens to recognize me through how I write or something along those lines, please don't bring it up to me. I don't want to talk about this unless I have told you directly about my experiences.
> 
> \--
> 
> This first chapter is a poem I wrote a bit ago about my own experiences changed slightly to fit Quentin. The following three chapters of this fic will be in the standard third-person format. I originally wasn't going to include this, but I wanted to get this out of my drafts and figured this would be a good motivator to finish all the chapters I have halfway-written.

It was inconsequential

No harm done, not when he said he loved you

You were just doing what you were meant to

Only being a good kid

A cruel, twisted sort of acceptance, set in at a young age

The seeds planted leading you to believe this was right

That you would only be loved by doing as you're told

Inconsequential, sure

Is it inconsequential in the way you'll never recover?

Or how you're forever tainted by his actions?

Or the way he manipulated you?

No, and you know it isn't in hindsight, but you weren't even six yet

You didn't know any better, because this was all you knew 

Now, years later, you feel it in everything you do

Only recently discovering why you're so fucked up

You didn't understand why before, not really

You didn't know why you found it so hard to trust

But how could you have known?

The memories were gone, blown away like ash

Waiting for that catalyst to set it all aflame again

They burn now, raging and insatiable, consuming everything in their path

It's been twelve years

Twelve years of insecurities and fear

Twelve years of reeling away from touch

Twelve years of having no one to talk to

Never knowing why but always afraid to speak up

Because they would think you're a mistake, some broken shell of a person

You aren't, though, and you know that now

You had your childhood taken from you before you even had a chance

There was no way you could've known what was happening to you

But still, you blame yourself

Because who else is at fault when you did nothing to stop him?

Who other than you, fueling that disgusting man's addiction?

You wish you could speak to that little boy, twelve years ago

Tell him that he's loved, that he's been loved this whole time, even if he doesn't feel like it

That he should just be a kid for a little bit longer

That he shouldn't listen to that man with his honeyed words concealing the worst intentions

Maybe he will, maybe he won't

You always were a stubborn kid

If only you were stubborn enough to say no.


End file.
